Dear Monday,

Why do you assume your arrival fills us with joy?

News Flash for you: most of the time, you stink.
I’d much rather be in the company of your siblings Saturday and Sunday – perhaps you could talk to them and adopt some of their character traits?
Would be much appreciated.

Please be gentle when we meet this time around. Don’t be selfish.

Regards,
The One Who Doesn’t Want To Get Up Early