Resolution

It is truly miraculous how pieces fall into place.

I had been spinning for a couple of days – it felt like a maelstrom, slowly building; my thoughts swirling faster and faster, until I could not follow anymore. It wasn’t a bad feeling – just too much to handle; unfamiliar. I did not consciously summon it – I guess sometimes the subconscious mind goes strange ways to lead you to your destination.

Last night, someone yelled “Stop!” into the waters – and I heard him.
Shortly after, I discovered the origin of my wild journey – in a conversation with someone I had thought to be long gone.

It was time for me to see something – the problem was, I kept looking in the wrong direction. It was situated in the past, not the present, nor future. I kept branching out, searching for answers, not knowing the problem was to be found in the roots – they had been drinking poisoned water.

I eliminated the problem.
Set it right.

The swirling stopped.
I could see myself again… the mind, clear and focused.

It is truly miraculous how pieces fall into place.
I am free to go back to the roots now… back to familiar territory.

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Thoughts have Mood Swings. Period. (no pun intended)

Thoughts are a treacherous kind.

We depend on them.
They are the reason we can take care of ourselves and don’t constantly run into walls.
Mostly, I am thankful for whatever pops into my head, but there are days, when my thoughts seem to have their panties in a bunch – and whenever that happens, I’m in for nasty surprises.

Today, they got me.
They got me good.
I was hovering in a pleasant state of mind – all ‘rainbows and unicorns‘, when all of a sudden, this nasty bucket of thought-filth emptied itself right inside of my head… and, of course, I was so dumbfounded, I forgot where I placed my Mental Mop.
I had no choice but to wade, knee-deep, in old and rotten memories for a while – such fun.

Usually, I am a linear thinker, but sometimes, unpleasant and uninvited thoughts strike me out of the blue – and I have no idea whatsoever where they came from. Like a bunch of relatives showing up for a surprise visit when it’s ‘washing day’ – and you’re wearing this filthy sweatshirt, sweatpants and granny panties.
What a nice surprise.

Perhaps thoughts are ‘encrypted messages’ from my subconscious – to show me, that I still have work to do… that I can’t just bury unpleasantness and leave it to rot. perhaps it’s my subconscious complaining that I use it as a storage room – for all the nasty stuff I don’t want to deal with.
I guess I’ll have to find out.

Sometimes thoughts suck.
Sometimes, I wish there was an off-switch… in case of emergency.