Selfless(ness is a) Bitch.

Be kind to others, they say.
Help people.
Smile… and never curse.
Put the needs of others before your own, they say.

******

FUCK THEM, I say.
It nearly cost me everything.

I have been raised this way. To always put myself second… my wishes, my needs, my life. Everyone liked being around me, because, subliminally, they knew that they could dump their shit on me – and I would juggle.
I juggled… for a very long time.
It’s not fun to try to deal with a huge pile of dung, when all you have is a plastic kiddie shovel… and a bucket too small to even count. The stuff gets everywhere and stinks to high heaven.
I didn’t think there was anything else… I thought that was how life was supposed to be.

I always felt so tired, so drained… so exhausted.
I couldn’t figure out why, since I considered myself a good person – I did so much for other people, never asking anything in return. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right?

Voluntarily or not… consciously or not… people are leeches.
When they spot you with your ‘Use-Me-Sign’ dangling from your neck, they latch on to you… sink teeth into your flesh and start sucking. If you’re not careful, they will suck you dry.

I chose Me.
Some time ago.
I got sick of being the punching bag… the popular trash can.
I voted healthy egoism.

Now, I choose to whom I give.
Whom I open up to.
And I ask for something in return.
It’s the exchange of energies… if you pick the right person to interact with, you don’t even have to demand – the energies flow back and forth… and, in the end, will leave you both feeling recharged.

Most may not understand this… selflessness is a great thing, right? Something very highly appreciated in our society.

The question is… if you’re so selfless all your life, always put others’ needs before your own, will you still be able to enjoy your life?
To appreciate it?
Or… will it be a painful struggle; a draining tumble… until you close your eyes and go to ground?

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