Dear Words,

how wonderful it is to be in your company again.
It feels like being with an old friend — comfortable and familiar — and although we have not spoken this intensely in a long time, we can still finish each other’s sentences.
Sometimes, I do not even have the state of mind to miss you & it is a sad thing that I come to realize this just now, as I finally have the time to sit down and breathe.

How the world consumes us — even though we try our hardest not to let it.

I hope I will always manage to take a step back and find some breathing room — and I hope that when I do, you will always be with me… for when I cannot find you anymore, I will truly be lost.

Yours Faithfully,
The Grateful

thank you.

I love it when people get me thinking.

For one of my recent blog posts, I chose the topic addiction. YourOtherMotherHere, author of The BreastfedBlog left me an exceptional comment.
She wrote:

“I read once that the hardest thing a human being can do is fight an addiction because you are actually fighting your own mind.”

It reverberates… and is just too special to be buried in the comments section.

Thank you for sharing this with me/us.

The Stranger | Restoration of Self

We all know that some relationships end badly.
When they do, it’s never fun… never easy.

You end up feeling angry, betrayed, lost… and in the worst case, feeling lower than low. Self-esteem below zero.
Just great.

I’ve been crushed recently – and am still dealing with the aftermath.
Still recovering.
Life hasn’t been easy – regrouping after taking a tumble… I’ve had my hands full piecing myself back together.
I won’t lie and say that my self-esteem didn’t take a beating.
It did.
For a while, I was so small… almost non-existent.

Since I always get caught up in my mind’s treadmill (thinking everything over until all my thoughts flow together and result in a gooey mush), I can’t just move on and not try to find the faults in my own actions… or, in my own being. I tend to degrade myself – and do so easily.

When least expected, the world tends to surprise us.

I just got back from a little vacation in a beautiful country.
Sun, sea, wind… lots of advantages to free my mind and get rid of burdens.
Of course I took my notepad with me – in case I would have any ideas, which I was sure would happen.
Today, I found that notebook, still packed away in a sidepocket of my suitcase.
I hadn’t written one single word while being away.
My mind took some time off… and it was well deserved.

I stayed at a beautiful little hotel. Nothing fancy, something local and cozy.
One morning, an old man stepped up to me while I was getting my breakfast at the buffet.
He looked at me.
I smiled at him and told him “Good Morning”.
He kept looking at me.
After a little while (a moment or two before things could get awkward), he gave me a brief smile and said, “Thank you.”
I was a bit baffled and asked him why he would thank me.
He told me he wanted to thank me for being such an imposing character.
I must have stared at him unbelieving, for he started to laugh a little… then he told me:
“I’ve watched you for several days now. Every morning, you come in here with a smile… share it with the people around you, greet every single person who comes close to you with a twinkle in your eye. While most of us look at our plates and mind our own business, you’re out there, spreading your joyous personality. You’re charming. You have a great Aura. Never lose it.
Thank you.”
After that, he winked at me and walked off.

I stood there, plate in hand, dumbfounded.
I couldn’t really grasp what had just happened.

What this man said to me triggered something. I wanted to cry because the words he had said were so beautiful – and they were meant for me.
Only for me.

I guess sometimes, we’re too caught up in our minds’ webs. Our own expectations and struggles blind us, make us immobile. We can no longer see how we are… how other people see us.

The words he said to me shook me out of my stupor… showed me, that I am taller than I think I am.

I never found out who he was – after that morning, I never saw him again.

I will always be thankful for what he gave me.
With his words, he flipped a switch in me… and resurrected my self-esteem.

Precious Moments

Unexpected events are the BEST.
Especially if they are from the ‘amazing’ category.

I love surprises.
It’s still morning and I already witnessed something majestic.
How fascinating is that?

There is this truly wonderful person in my life. I met him a while ago, and to this day, I am honored to be his friend.
Since Day 1, I watched him struggle. with life… with himself… with love… with pain. He never seemed to be able to catch a break.
He was caught up in his circles, going round and round; feet blistered and bloody – yet, he kept on walking. Never looked up for fear the world would come crashing down on him.
The devil we know…

It felt horrible to see him like that.
He is a gem; a true beauty in a world full of shit.
I knew I couldn’t help him break his patterns – every person has to take that step on their own – so I waited and watched.
Such a painful duty.

The past couple of days, I saw something… glinting in the dark.
A tiny spark, so faint… but unmistakably there.
Today, I watched that spark turn into a flame.
He, the warrior who fought for so long, stopped going in circles.
He looked up from the trench his feet had worn into the ground.
There was purpose in his eyes.
There was life… in a realm of decay.

I know true beauty when i see it.
The warrior took his first step outside the circle… such a strong move.
I do not know where he is headed… I am sure, neither does he – but I am thrilled he took the first step.

Some of us can move mountains.
I am sure he can.

I am thankful to be able to witness such pure beauty.
I wish said warrior the best of luck.
He surely deserves it.