it’s been almost two years since I last wrote to you and almost one and a half, since we separated. True, our break-up didn’t go as smoothly as I would have preferred, but after much yelling and some truly “Hulk-esque” behavior on my end to resist your (back then) very alluring nature, I finally got to kick you in the shins and run.
It would be a lie to say that I never think back to the times when you and I were still an item, but today, it’s more of an “I-can’t-believe-I-used-to-think-that-was-awesome” sort of memory — like the poop-colored corduroy pants you wore as a kid and thought were totally cool. Yes, now you fall into the same category. Neat, huh?
I know that once in a while, you still try to call me – but I never pick up, because, you know, I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
After a ton of internal struggle, it finally sank in… and I couldn’t be more grateful.
I’m better off without you.
There you have it.
The One Who Got Away
P.S.: You still stink. Ha.